What is Couples Sex Therapy? Portland Couples Therapist Explains
Are you interested in doing sex therapy with your partner? Couples sex therapy could be a great fit!
Couples sex therapy is therapy that’s focused on sexual issues in your relationship & with both/all partners present.
Some of the reasons clients come to couples therapy include:
mismatched levels of desire in their relationship
difficulty with sexual communication
differing sexual interests
past sexual trauma impacting their current sexual relationship
desire to expand their sexual relationship
So now you may be wondering…what does couples sex therapy actually look like?
Couples sex therapy typically involves different phases of treatment. Therapy will always look a bit different depending on your unique circumstances, your readiness & willingness to engage in the process, and your therapist’s approach. Here’s a general idea of what you can expect:
In the beginning, the focus of therapy is assessment. The sex therapist needs to gather lots of information about each individual, the relationship, and the sexual challenges, and the your goals in order to know how best to help. Your sex therapist will ask questions about each of your sexual histories, past relationships, your current relationship, sexual beliefs & expectations, your hopes around sex, & more. The beginning of therapy is kind of like gathering all of the pieces of the puzzle, which a crucial step before we can put it together.
Next, you and your therapist will clarify why you may be struggling & begin to identify a path towards your goals. Once your therapist has gathered all of the information, they will present you with their best understanding of why you may be struggling and what could help. This is also a great time for your to reflect on the same! They may identify that it seems important to address something that happened in the relationship in the past that is creating a barrier in the present.
Then your sex therapist will likely recommend some behavioral tools or exercises to improve your sex life. Some common behavioral tools in sex therapy may include specific touch & communication exercises, readings or videos to check out & discuss, and other evidence based strategies. Your therapist will be there to check in, guide you in processing feelings, and adjusting as needed along the way.
Once you’ve met your goals, you’ll shift to a maintenance phase. Sometimes it can be hard to keep up the change you’ve worked towards when life gets in the way. It’s important to have some time to see how it’s going to maintain your goals over time & to process what may becoming a barrier if you’re struggling. Therapy also involves highlighting and celebrating the good! So if things are continuing to go well, it can really help to celebrate that and identify what’s allowing that to happen.
If you’re interested in starting couples sex therapy, we’re here to help! Our Portland sex therapists offer a free consultation to get started.